RV Poem

Same cadence as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”

It’s 2010. We went to the bank,
to buy an RV. It’s big as a tank!
Yes, we’ve purchased a big rig, to drive ‘round the world.
It’s a great big old thing, but we’ll give it a whirl.
We’re pretty good drivers and accident free,
But driving this monster is sure new to me.
With clothes in the closet and food in the fridge,
Common sense settles in and we’re scared just a smidge.
When inside my brain some questions arose
What is a Jake break, what’s a white water hose?
What’s an entry step switch, or a black water tank?
For all of this stuff, my bank account sank?
It’s nighttime, I’m in bed, and dreaming, you see,
Surely driving this monster is too much for me.
For my dream is too real, my fear is too strong
I looked out the window, my God it was long.
The moon lit the side of this gigantic rig
That was towing a Hummer! My God it was big.
My eyes were wide open as I looked at it all
I blinked once or twice, my God it was tall.
I’m deep in my dream and who should I see,
A professional driver walking up to me.
This driver was famous, in life and in legend,
He then looked at me for just a brief second.
More rapid than dragsters, the RVs, they came,
As he pointed with pride and called them by name.
Now, Numar! Now, Southwind! and Holiday Rambler!
On, Eagle! Itasca, Monaco, and Bounder!
This driver was stern, a wizened old fart,
And I laughed when I saw him, but it gave me a start.
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
He gave me a thumbs-up, I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Of checking his tires, then he turned with a jerk,
Then nodded his head, and reset his mirrors,
Adjusted his seat, then smiled at my fears.
“You’re driving a big rig and it’s a mite scary,
With cool head, be careful, and drive it with care.”
With a blast on his horn, cranked that diesel alive,
“Good RVing to all, and have a safe drive!”